Q. When is your birthday?
A. October 14th.

Q. What is your favorite word?
A. Yes.

Q. What is your least favorite word?
A. Liverpool.

Q. What turns you on?
A. My bird.

Q. What turns you off?
A. Scrotums.

Q. What sound do you love?
A. Rain against the window pane in the middle of the night.

Q. What sound do you hate?
A. George Bush talking shite.

Q. What is your favorite curse word?
A. Arsehole.

Q. What profession other than yours, would you like to attempt?
A. Professional soccer player.

Q. What profession would you not like to participate in?
A. Politics.

Q. If heaven exists, what would you like God to say, when you arrive at the pearly gates?
A. "I won't tell if you won't."